No gifts. You read that correct.
The first year of marriage, my husband and I instituted a “no gift” rule on Valentine’s Day; I still try to get him something, but he was pretty firm on that no gift rule; and decided his gift would be cooking dinner for us instead.
Sounds great, Right!? Well, maybe for you, but it certainly wasn’t for me, especially those first 2-3 years!
I admit it… I’m not perfect! Please laugh with me here. I have so many faults but this one – is the cherry on top! The truth is: I’m Extremely Uptight.
Especially when it comes to someone in my kitchen. And furthermore, Please don’t make a mess in my Kitchen!
The kitchen for me, is my comfort zone! It’s my sanctuary, it’s the most peaceful spot in the house…If I’ve had the “Worst Day Ever” I still want to go home and Cook. Yes I’m weird, but it brings me joy…
Probably because I have so many wonderful memories of my mom and grandmother cooking. I will never forget the day my grandma let me stand in the dining chairs and learn the art of “homemade” pancakes. She passed away 14 years ago; I miss her so.
Back to our Valentine’s Tradition: We call it our “Annual Dinner”! Seriously, it’s an entire ordeal.
He studies recipes, gets his friends to send ideas, then buys the groceries, he prepares the meal (cooks and bakes in the same night), sets the table…You get the idea…
And while I’m not saying, he wouldn’t help, any other day, if I just asked…. I simply don’t want him to! I won’t let him touch anything in that room! So, while it’s hard (for me) to let go this one night… I have to!
This gift, while it gives me a lot of anxiety; is something I’ve grown to love more than any other gift I could receive on Valentine’s Day.
What makes this tradition Funny, is that our friends now know, and ask, “what’s Brian making for dinner”… You see, he started a secret twitter a few years ago (I promised I wouldn’t share his name) – and posted about it the process the entire time he was cooking!
I too posted a few videos on Instagram Stories, but his tweets – wow! That first year, Neither of us knew the other was doing (our own twitter/instagram), until after dinner. So despite bad lasagna, we ended up laughing at each other…
Have I mentioned, he isn’t a good cook … He can follow directions, but he’s just not that great unless it involves a grill.
Bless him, he has to read – re-read, check, measure, check again… I just want to take over for him, and do it. And Every year – I try to help him, (I want to provide advice) – explain the difference in basil and cilantro, offer to measure his teaspoon vs. tablespoon – But my “help” turns into his “frustration” …
I cook with ease. Then again, I also cook on a regular basis. He does not.
Which leads to why he thinks I’m being uptight, Its actually that I simply want to help him, because I know where I keep the baking powder; he does not – so now we own another can, and you know how often you need baking powder! So yes, we own a lot of extra Cheese, spices, and noodles this time of year. Because he won’t let me simply tell him where our spices are – so he just buys ALL NEW.
So after 2 years of “watching him cook dinner” in 2016, he implemented another rule: I had to leave our house while he cooked.
I was allowed to do anything I want! So now, I get a pedicure or go to the Mall/Target immediately after work.
His skills are improving, our meal in 2018 was 10x better than the previous two.. So 2 out of 4 years is not that bad! Right? Year one he grilled.
I know, No one is perfect. I have a million faults, just ask my friends, my family, my husband … they all know! And by no means am I knocking my husband for his cooking skills; he enjoys this one day.
So my point is this: If you’re perfect, then good for you: I want to shake your hand. But if yore like me, and you’re not… then ease up here and there and enjoy the moment. Laugh a little…. Annual Dinner is something I look forward to!
I have no idea what will be on the menu this year. But I assure you, we will both breathe a little easier knowing… Brian won’t be making dinner for another 364 more days!